Good Enough
by RavenAmongstDarkness
Summary: He deserved better. He deserved a perfect girl, like the ones of the cover of magazines that mocked her constantly. A skinny, beautiful girl with a perfect body that other girls would envy. She wasn't good enough, she wondered if she would ever be or if she even wanted to be. Slight RobxRae. Somewhat based on my own struggles with eating disorders. Please review. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

"Disgusting."

She stared at herself in the mirror, only in her bra and panties. Anyone else would see a skinny girl, who needed to order a large pizza for herself with cheesy-bread. Lots of it.

Not her. Others saw skin and bones, while she saw fat. She wasn't skinny enough, not yet. Not skinny enough for him. He deserved better. He deserved a perfect girl, like the ones of the cover of magazines that mocked her constantly. A skinny, beautiful girl with a perfect body that other girls would envy. She wasn't good enough, she wondered if she would ever be or if she even wanted to be.

She sighed and stepped on the scale, closing her eyes as it calculated her weight. She took a deep breath before opening her eyes and looking down at the scale.

"74.2 pounds."

Standing at five foot and seven inches, she weighed a mere seventy-four pounds and she was still too heavy for herself to live with. She had to lose weight. It wasn't a choice, it was something that was necessary.

"You coming to dinner, Rae?"

She could practically hear his hopeful eyes through the door. He'd come every evening to ask her that and her answer was always the same.

"No."

He sighed. "Everyone's worried about you, are you sick or something?"

She barely contained a gasp. No, if they were worried that means they would get suspicious and if they got suspicious, they'd investigate.

Then they'd find out. That couldn't happen, she had to throw them off and make everything seem okay. She put on her clothes in a rush.

"Raven?"

She opened her door to see Robin standing there, obviously surprised. "You're coming to dinner?"

She hesitated. She couldn't eat, but they were on the verge of finding out..

She smiled slightly. "Yeah."

* * *

Three huge slices of pizza sat before her on a plate. To the other Titans, it must've looked delicious and made their mouths water. But not for her. She saw calories, fat, and everything else she was scared of. If she ate them, she'd gain weight.

But if she didn't eat them, the others would catch on, they always did. Whenever the Prophecy was coming, they caught on. Whenever she was cutting herself, they caught on. If she didn't throw them off, they would catch on like they always did. She couldn't let that happen, but she couldn't let herself gain weight. There _was_ another way.. She didn't want to make her condition worse, but she had no choice.

"Raven?"

She didn't have to look up from her plate to know it was Robin and that he was worried like the others were.

She faked a smile and looked up at them. "I'm sorry I haven't been at dinner lately, I wasn't feeling too well and lost my appetite. This happens to us women from Azarath sometimes, but we can go for months without food and it won't hurt us." She lied. "I'm sorry I made you worry, but I'm fine."

She took in a deep breath and took a big bite out of her pizza.

The others bought it and smiled.

"We're all glad you're okay, Rae. That's a big relief." Cyborg said so sincerely that she felt awful for lying, but she didn't have another choice.

* * *

The bathroom door shut behind her as she sighed. She had to hurry up and get back to the others, they were waiting for her to come back to watch a movie.

She hadn't wanted it to come to this, but she had no choice. Gaining weight was not an option. She picked up her dark blue toothbrush and bent down in front of the toilet. One second was all she hesitated before shoving the toothbrush down her throat, triggering her gag reflex. She felt her stomach churn, then suddenly she felt her dinner come back up her throat and into the toilet. She repeated this a few times.

After flushing the toilet and wiping her mouth, she looked at her reflection in the mirror for a second then looked away in disgust. She was pathetic.

* * *

"You're back! About time! That took awhile, must be that time of the month!" Beastboy joked, or at least he tried to.

Raven stared at her feet from her spot beside the stove. She didn't even have her "time of the month" anymore, when her eating stopped so did it.

"Raven! Look out!"

"Huh?"

* * *

"Ah! Freaking light.."

White blinding light hurt Raven's amethyst eyes when she opened them. She hear very faint voices and the steady beeping of a machine. Judging from the bracelet on her wrist and her new attire that left a breeze in the back, the half-demoness concluded she was in the hospital. But why, she didn't know yet.

_Shit._ If she stayed too long the doctors would figure out it out.

The door opened to reveal the rest of the team and an old man wearing a white coat. A doctor, she presumed.

"Why am I here?"

"The stove caught on fire while you were standing next to it, it gave your arm a nasty burn. The paramedics insisted on taking you when the fire department came." Cyborg explained.

She glanced at her left arm and saw bandages. "Oh, that's all?" Raven was relieved, they hadn't figured it out.

"That's why you came, but that's not why you're still here. I'm Dr. Helmuth."

_Shit._


	2. Chapter 2

The team looked at the doctor curiously, but Raven already knew what he was talking about.

_Fuck my life._

"You're dangerously underweight, Raven. But you're already aware of this, aren't you?"

She looked down at her lap and didn't say anything.

"What are you trying to say, doctor?" Robin asked, although he had a pretty good idea as to what Dr. Helmuth meant.

"I've diagnosed Raven with anorexia and most likely bulimia."

The Titans gasped and looked at Raven, who had her head down.

"What are these anorexia and bulimia?" Starfire inquired.

"Anorexia means that Raven has been starving herself to lose weight. Bulimia means that every time Raven eats she makes herself throw it back up so she won't gain weight. They are eating disorders." Doctor Helmuth explained.

"Raven, is this true?" Robin asked, his voice wavering slightly.

The empath's silence and refusal to look up from her lap answered his question.

"How much does she weigh, Doctor?" Cyborg asked gravely.

"Well Raven's height is five foot and seven inches, so she should weight around 120 - 145 pounds. But she only weighed 74.2 pounds when she was brought in yesterday, with the nutrients her IV is giving her she now weights 76.4 pounds." Doctor Helmuth explained. "So she's about 44 pounds underweight."

Starfire burst into tears when he finished, worried about her best girlfriend. Beastboy hugged her supportively, his own eyes watering up.

Raven felt like pure shit, she hated how upset this made her friends.

"So, Raven, after a few days here on the IV, we'll be handing you over to become an in-patient at Jump City Rehabilitation Center. You're lucky to still be alive. I'll leave you and your teammates to discuss this." The doctor shut the door behind him, leaving the Titans in a painfully awkward silence.

"Why?" Beastboy whispered, tears streaming down his face. "Why have you been doing this to yourself?"

Raven felt tears beginning to form in her eyes. She simply shook her head rapidly, unable to answer the question.

"Look at us, Raven. We deserve answers." Robin said softly.

When she looked up and saw each one of the Titans with tears in their eyes Raven couldn't help but cry.

"I'm sorry." She cried. "I didn't mean for it to go this far."

"You can't go on like this. Please. You have to get back to a healthy weight." Cyborg pleaded. "Promise us. Right now."

The thought of gaining weight scared her to hell and back, but she knew she'd die if she went on like this.

"I can promise you that I'll try."

"That's all we need." The Boy Wonder stated as the group enveloped the empath into a group hug.

_Maybe things will be alright._

She would go to rehab, learn how to eat again, get some therapy, and learn to love herself. Then she would return to the team and it'll be like nothing ever happened.

But things are never that simple, are they?

* * *

**Done, for now. This is shorter than I wanted, but oh well. Anyways, thank you for the reviews! I might write a sequel. We'll see, don't count on it.  
**


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